You only live once but if you do it right, once is enough - Mae west

Ah my resolutions, just 2 days on from writing my last blog and instead of dyeing my own hair back to blonde and the temptation to go back is creeping up on me on an hourly basis but I'm also looking at other people on the telly and changing their hair colour. For example Joanna Lumley beautiful woman but her hair is starting to drain her face now so maybe a tone or 3 darker therefore if I make everyone in the world a brunette I won't miss being blonde so much!!!!

Then there's the healthy eating resolution hmmmm Sunday we had a Chinese and tonight a pizza well it was 2 for Tuesdays. I do believe (and I'm safe in writing this as I know my husband doesn't read my blog let alone go on FB etc) that the hubster is fattening me up like you fatten up a Turkey and then you ......................................... strike that thought maybe he just wants me to be a larger lady!
If I mention dieting he laughs at me and then like a magician just produces these Creme Eggs from behind his ears I kid you not, then there's the alchohol and the family size bags of crisps and I'm back to feeling like flubber :(now I have nothing wrong with larger ladies and some are just so stunning its just for me I don't feel comfortable this size (and to give you an idea I have gone up 2 dress sizes since becoming ill) and with the lack of exercise I'm not getting the chance to shift the calories. Must remind my friend to see if she wants to do the "lunch club" at the CLUB again soon see I can even distract myself, but seriously they do the largest bowl of profiteroles and the smallest dinner. in fact made for ladies who lunch and just really want to get to the dessert.....lol!

2 Courses and a drink for just £5.99

Monday to Friday, 12-4pm

• Mains

  5oz* Gammon & Egg
  
  Chicken Breast with Stuffing & Gravy
  
  Breaded Scampi
  
  Veggie Sausage & Mash (V)
  

• Desserts

  Profiteroles
  
  Ice Cream Sundae
  
  Golden Syrup Sponge Pudding
  

• Drink

  Tea, Coffee, Pepsi,
  
  Diet Pepsi or Lemonade
  
  Whilst looking for a photo for the profiteroles to go with the "lunch club" menu I came across this  just give me a moment to dream about what it must taste like ...................mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
  

So plan of attack (and again secret from the hubster) we start in Feb too wet. too windy and still too many chocs/biscuits/crisps/drinks left over from Xmas. So in the meantime i'll research a few diet plans, they have to include food (or i'll fail) sweet treats (or i'll fail) and a glass of something per week (oh well you get the message).

                                                                 I have started saving or rather thinking about saving, lots of great savings accounts out there and I can feel the pennies making more pennies (well when I open the account I will)...................
       so so far so good. 

Now me and the hubster have been watching Celeb Big Brother and I normally get hooked within the first few days but then start drifting off until I no longer remember that its on. Not so this year already tempted to turn off, people chained up together, gratuitous sex conversations in front of poor Lionel Blair (do they not realise how OLD he is) but I have to say the glamour model (don't know her name) getting Lee from Five to (you know, in the bathroom) did make me smirk so he would give her some peace :D.

I have had some really weird dreams in the past month and this isn't going on the back of CBB so get your heads out of the gutter but the weirder they get the more I start to believe in them. So I've looked into some dream therapy
Ok I won't go into what I've dreamed about or its hidden meanings but it was very interesting but much the same as getting your astrology forecast for the year is it all nonsense????
Anyway the link if you'd like to know what your dreams mean is http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/e2.htm

I seem to be forever talking to someone from customer support nowadays and when they say they are recording your conversation why??? this explains it perfectly but bit hasty in getting the sack just stating the flipping obvious ha ha enjoy........

 This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"


I LOVE it!!!
 


I feel worried to brace this subject as I like to try and keep the blog lighthearted but blimey whats happened to the weather. First we were told that from November through to January it would be snowing - had none!! But these storms that have been hitting have been incredible (but in a bad way) and I feel for anyone that has been affected by them. Landscapes have changed (again not in a good way) but for me the question of the day is WHY when the waves are higher than buildings do you stand and watch them as close as you can????? why why why??





Stay safe, warm and indoors if you can!!

TTFN!