A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands!

I have NO idea where last weekend went seriously, so I apologise for my lack of blog other than to say I simply don't remember it happening all the days blur into one nowadays and zap there are gone. I wish I could say it was down to me partying hard and living it up then sleeping throughout the next day  However its more likely to look like this  NICE!!
Not, I'm seriously bored and my poor hair is suffering not actually just virtually as I can't raise my elbow to dye my hair so might need to (don't faint) go to the hairdressers for once to have it cut. In my head as everything is nowadays my hair has gone from bright blonde to bright red. Luckily as I can't get to the shops this hasn't happened yet as with all my well thought out plans its bound to look like this  although actually this looks quite good I ponder for a brief moment.
So my diet we start again on Monday (tomorrow) as due to Pancake day and Valentines day and then the weekend I know I know we  but we did do 6 days of the diet and I lost 6 lbs so very impressed although might have put that weight back on now. I was looking for the perfect valentines dinner and all of the supermarkets are doing the valentines meal deal etc etc, we ended up with a Chinese (which is also convenient with it being Chinese new year so combining the takeaway means less calories surely??) as when you look as hard as I did for the perfect meal you come up with little bits from different supermarkets and end up with zilch lol) and drum roll I am really into Heston Blumenthal restaurant the fat duck since seeing it on Masterchef and in particular the seven layer BFG. In Waitrose (not advertising honest guv) they are doing a at a stonking £13 not to be sniffed at lightly but on Ocado its half price, result :) and it was yum  but so as the kids didn't get left out for valentines they got a milka gateau  and of course I had to test trial it for them and yum yum!!
Gone are the days of hearts and flowers, going out to restaurants (did hubby ever take me out) according to him he didn't date me he just moved in (kind of true) oh to be romanced again.
I am a complete pain in the arse when it comes to buying presents for, hubby brought me a necklace for xmas but.............................................. I asked him to take it back because it looked really cheap (but wasn't) I sound awful I know but its now February and I didn't get anything as a replacement so who loses moi (and hubby has a bit more money in his wallet) for Valentines he wanted to get me the Trevor nelson cd which I (did) for once want his words "i'm going to try and see if I can use that tatty old voucher at HMV and buy it for you" but then forgot to go to the shops. and who says romance is dead!
So back to the diet as all of the ingredients are supplied its surprisingly easy to do, you can't cheat and try and add anything else and the fact you can still have fruit and veg as well is a huge plus. Obviously there is a downside thats the flatulence and next week I will need to issue warnings if people walk in the room!!! 
I won't go on to much about the fact that i'm still in  and I feel as if I have nothing to say anyway because I am still in pain. The consultant has got back to me though and according to the bone scan there is no signs of arthritic damage to my joints the only thing they saw was dental erosion (thanks) and kidneys retaining fluid. The blood tests she stated weren't quite so good apparently as i'm on 10,000 units of Vit D per week and have been since November when I first started feeling ill i've only gone up from 55 to 72 which I think is good as it has gone up, but apparently it should have gone up by a much greater margin. Then my iron levels and calcuim are still low so she has doubled the dose of my medications. One of which makes me so dopey in the morning already I haven't started on the double dose as yet or i'll be like the walking dead 
Then I said to her about my pain relief as my meds are only just taking off the edge and she said "I could put you on morphine and it wouldn't do anything to relieve the pain because of where the pain is"
So a life of pain for me then, she said that it is looking more like Fibromyalgia  that being said as i'm a nurse i've looked at a lot of the symptoms and although I have a lot of them (but couldn't we all??) It doesn't link in with what is happening to my body but it looks like i've been put on the waiting came for now to see if the meds make me feel better on the plus side at least it isn't anything serious!!
So from todays blog it going to be bright and breezy.
TTFN!

Saints and Slimmers!!

Since I spend a LOT of time on my bum nowadays as walking or driving causes pain I tend to do as little as possible to decrease any pain, doesn't really work as I can be sat not moving and have pain in my wrists, elbows, knees or ankles its such a pain!! Well if you can't laugh about it you'll cry ;P

So I have my bone scan coming up tomorrow and I don't know if its because i'm a nurse but i'm severely freaking out about it and actually hoping for a workable diagnosis as BORED is putting it mildly. No single day is different from the other now and little man is back to clinging to me constantly which of course hurts lol. and do you think the older ones pull their weight a bit more to help, hmmm!!

So Last week through my boredom and I have spent an awful lot of money online since being off sick, I decided to buy some scales, I knew that my trousers were getting tight (OK OK I couldn't do them up) so I brought some fat trousers aka a larger size but also got some scales as plying on the weight won't help whatever illness I have or make the healing process easier. Now I won't tell you what I weigh but i'm almost at obese on the BMI scale and i'd rather not get there. So thanks to hubby who went to work today and came back with Krispy Kreme doughnuts he likes me just the way I am  but basically he is a man and like the size of my breasts just the way they are!!!

So as I have the scan tomorrow (Monday) and may well need some chocolate we (ha ha yes I said WE hubby has no get out clause) we are starting a diet for flippin heck 4 weeks, I give it 2 but it'll be good if we could make it to 4. As I can't exercise or even walk far I won't be getting any extra treats but hubby has more calories than me and is already mocking me about it.

 so we've cheated and chosen the "Saints and Slimmers" 4 week package of delectable microwave meals (only one at dinner time) a shale or meal replacement bar for lunch and porridge for 28 days straight sounds more like torture they do however encourage you to add fresh fruits and veg to your meals and on the additional plus side you get snack bags of pretzels or raisins mmmm yummy will I say that in 4 weeks time. Hubby is already talking about wasting away ......................

So for the grand old price of £97.99 each should be £211.50 each but I think I would have cried if i'd have paid that for microwave meals and dried snacks and tons and tons of porridge!!

We thought this would stop us from making up a dieting and this is what is in the box and NO I am not advertising for them because I wouldn't feed my dog this food although saying that I haven't tried it yet we will wait until next week and see if i'm still doing it and not ebaying it!!

Our monthly 1200kcal box is ideal for those who have decided to kick start 2013 with a diet and lose weight. For only £3.50 per day we are offering you a pack that contains all of your breakfasts, lunches, evening meal andsnacks for the month. All you need to do is add in some fresh fruit and vegetables and you’ll be set to lose a sustainable 2lb a week (we don’t believe in crash diets) which people typically lose on a Saints & Slimmers plan and the results will stay! 

Did you know our 1200kcal box contains an average of 200kcals more than other home delivered options and it will be delivered to you the next working day (if ordered before 2pm).  

You’re box will include the full selection of our product range so you can taste everything over your 1 month plan (there is no commitment for you to take anything more and if you’re not happy just return everything within 28 days for a full no quibble refund). You’ll experience our great tasting products and also benefit from our Meal Replacement Products that have added L-Carnitine and Green Tea Extract that are clinically proven to aid weight loss. 

The box contains the following: 

• 8 x Deluxe Chocolate Flavour Cereal Bar
• 8 x Summer Berries Flavour Cereal Bar
• 8 x Cookie Dough Flavour Cereal Bar
• 16 x Raisins Snack Bag
• 16 x Pretzels Snack Bag
• 28 x Original Flavour Porridge
• 3 x Milk Chocolate Flavour Meal Replacement Bar
• 4 x Summer Berries Flavour Meal Replacement Bar
• 3 x Chocolate Peanut Flavour Meal Replacement Bar
• 3 x Chocolate Flavour Milkshake
• 3 x Strawberry Flavour Milkshake
• 3 x Vanilla Flavour Milkshake
• 3 x Chocolate Flavour Meal Replacement Powder
• 3 x Strawberry Flavour Meal Replacement Powder
• 3 x Vanilla Flavour Meal Replacement Powder
• 4 x Beef Lasagne
• 4 x Chicken Satay
• 4 x Chicken Tikka Masala
• 4 x Chilli Con Carne
• 4 x Spaghetti Bolognese
• 4 x Chicken Sweet and Sour
• 4 x Vegetable Chilli

Wish us luck but for now we're ordering a Chinese YUM!!! well it is Chinese New Year it'll be rude not Too!!!

TTFN!!!!

But you don't look sick!!!

Dear Reader

After my joyous day when I thought I was getting better sadly I declined and my body failed me miserably, depression hit me like a thunderbolt and I (to be honest) didn't want or rather couldn't do anything.
I have been to see a Rheumatologist now and had 9 bottles yes 9  of bloods taken for tests i'd never heard of before and have booked an appointment for a full body scan aaargh!!

But I will try to do a little of my blog each day if only to keep my sanity away from watching almost 4 hours of JK today, save me save me!! I thought I could shout but its nothing compared to the other people anyway after the millionth day of crying I've decided enoughs enough and to start fighting it.

First step to recovery or acceptance possibly in my case a wee ditty I made (sorry only a few of the lines rhyme)

When someone asks how are you?

Do you smile and say you’re ok? Or do you tell the truth?

I wake with aches and pains every morning

If I climb up the stairs my knees hurt

If I drive the car my ankles hurt

I can't raise the phone to my ear as my elbow will hurt

I moan when getting dressed so quite often have jammie days

And if I dare attempt to walk my right hip will go

Typing will hurt my fingers soon so I’ll keep it brief

I sit as still as I possibly can in the hope that the pain will lessen (it never does)

Sometimes its my right wrist with my left ankle

sometimes its my left elbow with my right knee

much like a game of twister (I’d win)

despite the rumours I DO want to work

I love my job and I love my patients .

I sit at home and watch rubbish telly all day, bliss you might say

Not for me my brain is addled with the senseless nonsense that is JK .

I am not lazy but have been reduced to a lazy life

I wish I could blog, or write my much awaited book but my fingers ache and burn

Only my family know my true pain

I moan and I groan and I cry all the time

I shout and I accuse because of my own helplessness

My husband is patient and caring but in his tone I can now hear resentment of a disease he can’t see

I have developed a skill in avoiding seeing friends

I want to see you to talk to you to be with you but my pain is too much to bear

And I would want to sleep throughout most of our chat so I don’t put you through that

So if you see me in the street please don’t ask “how are you” because I may be tempted to tell the truth but most likely i'll say i'm fine!!!

This is supposed to be a poem (funny as well) but I failed miserably sorry

TTFN her crankiness :)